the reachable sky is still too far away
but i will get there somehow

Friday, January 02, 2009

My 2008...

2008 is gone and here comes 2009..

I wouldn't know how to classify 2008 as..
Like any other years, it has its ups and downs..

This would be my last entry for this blog and also the longest. I've mentioned to Azack before that it would be my most honest entry to mark the end of 2008 and a new beginning to 2009. So, here goes nothing... and do bear in mind, its just how I feel..

I was gievn the opportunity to assume the role of CSM, and work load has been demanding ever since.It has taken a toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. I took over at the worst time possible. 7 part-timers were quitting and the festive seasons were around the corner, Hari Raya and Deepavali i think. It was hard to get the ball rolling when you basically have to start from scratch. The festive seasons didn't help too. Staffs were on leave and things were moving at a slow speed.

Impressions have to be established and expectations have to met. Now, I am on my toes more than ever after learning how my bosses operate. There were some high points when the bosses recognises your potential but there was also some low points, when mistakes were made and at that point of time, it seemed irreversible.

Great power comes great responsibilities. Once, I had to send out 4 apology letters in a week. So, if anyone requires anyone to write an apology letter, you know who to look for. I've become some what of an expert in that area.. haha..

Have I ever mentioned that I just dislike the working hours! 9am-8pm... Haiz.. It just sucks!! I do not have time for myself, family and friends. Every single day, I would be complaining abt how tired and exhausted I am. At the end of the day, I would just feel so drained out and exhausted.

There is only one thing that keeps me going to work everyday; my colleagues. I just love them all to bits! Yes, they can be the poisons who are killing me softly when they committed mistakes but they are also my antidote, constantly providing me with laughters. There are 26 staffs in Rainbow, and only 6 are full-timers. I always says that Rainbow runs on the energy that the part-timer provide.

Words like 'grinding', 'please ah, please ah' and 'bo-boss' have become Rainbow's trademark. I was pretty sad when Faizal, Sherman and Azri left. There were the 'backbone' to all the fun and laughters. I fed on their jokes and incessant nonsense to keep me going every day. Our trip home would always be a new adventure; posing with Barney in the middle of a crowded train, opening up the umbrella at the mrt station and not forgetting, constant cam-whoring no matter where we were, even while crossing the roads. Haizz.... I miss the boys and our trip home....

Through work too, I've made amazing friends. Hidayah, my listening ear, gossip and whinning buddy. I dun think I would be able to survive this long without her encouragement. I truly do hope we would be able to fulfil our plans in the near future. Not forgetting, a particular someone who turns out to be a really good friend when I needed a shoulder to cry on. It kinda surprises me when I actually broke down in front of him. It is sad when an outsider is able to understand you more than someone whom you truly cares. I thank him for being a good friend without asking anything in return.

For the first time ever, I was left all alone, parentless for the longest time ever! Both parents left for Hajj in Nov for a month. I am not embarrass to say that I cried like a baby when mummy left me at the airport. I've never been separated from mummy that long!!! Every single day I would wait unpatiently for her to call. And when she did call, I would ended up crying just cos she cried first.. hehe..

Nonetheless, it was a time when I began to appreciate my family more. My uncle, aunt and cousins were hovering over me like I was some precious-only-heir-to-the-throne princess in some Kingdom of Teban. I used to report strength to only mummy, but with mummy away, I had to report strength to 4 person!! When I spent too much time at cousin's place, my uncle would call to check on when would I be sleeping over at his place. When I was at my uncle's place, my cousins would be calling to check on when would I be returning to their place. For that period of a mth, I have 3 homes; Teban, Bukit Batok and Toa Payoh.

I truly thank my uncle's family for providing me with such caring hospitality and it made me appreciate them even more. As I an only child, they are all I've got next to my parents.
Being parent-less for a mth, I've learnt to look after myself and at the same time appreciate every little thing my mum does for me even more. Mummy, I promised to spend more time at home and be a better daughter! =)

Beginning of the year, I was struggling to move on from my grandpa's passing. It got better as the months passed by but I have yet to step foot at the cemetery. I still do miss him and when I visited my grandaunt, I couldnt help but teared up a lil cos she just reminded me of him. For this year, I hope to gather enough strength to visit him again......

I truly thank God that I am blessed with really good pple as my bestfriends.

At the beginning of the year, a certain friendship took a backseat but I am thankful that my besfriend is a bigger person than I am and was ready to accept me with no reservations. I am glad that we managed to spent more time with each other and I am truly sorry if I've hurt your feelings along the way. Mrs Rain, I really do love you to bits!! (with no lesbian tendency here). Hopefully we can meet soon for another session of karaoke and flood the playlist!!!

I was having quite a difficult year end and the pple that matters most, my bestfriends were there for me. Thanx Red, for tirelessly lending me the listening ear and even though you are a dedicated disciple of David Copperfield, I know you do care. Thanx for trying to knock some sense into me even when it seemed useless. =)

And Zal, thanx for being a part of Rainbow! I am truly glad to have u as my colleague and good friend. I dun think you've realise that by having you in Rainbow had actually made me less tense and stressful at work. Your constant "Its OKAY, Lina!" does act like a motivation for me. And would you and Kamie get married already?!! Please ah!!! Please ah!!!

On 21st Dec, my childhood bestfriend of 18years, Marliza was finally married!! We've always predicted that she wld be the first to be married and it came true! I am truly happy for her and hopefully both she and her hubby love our prezzie.. ahem ahem.... *grinning cheekily*

Pple at work too have transformed from being colleagues to friends. I've began to spend more time with them and learnt more about each other. We've begun to spend more time outside of work and just hung out till late. Friends like Nas, Ferhan and Suhaimi constantly have things up their sleeves that I can't keep up with their surprises and antics. Thanx guys for trying to cheer me up and providing some entertainment!

Hmmm.. where do i start??

I finally understood how it felt like to have my heart broken.
Disappointed and hurt would be the 2 best word to describe how I felt..
My closest friends would know that I do not fall in and out of love easily.
And I am not a vengeful person who keeps it to heart, what more if I still do care for the person.. Someone said I am just too soft-hearted and forgiving. Perhaps to some, hate is the way to go for healing but I chose otherwise. Besides, how do you hate someone you care? I chose to be friends and even though it is hard, at least it offers some comfort to me in some way..

Well.... The wound might have healed but the scar may not be completely gone..
Whenever I thought I am over it, certain songs/places/shows would spark sthg and as much as I try not to, I would tear up.... like now... *okie, happy thoughts!*

I know some friends have really good intentions, but I dun think I am ready yet.. I need some time to recover.. :)

And the recovery process proved to be very costly for me!!. I still cant believe that I spent $2k in a span of 1mth, keeping in mind this was before the Dec bonus.. I cant stop buying things!

I would summarise 2008 to have many firsts for me...

First time given the opportunity to run my own branch.
First time being parentless for the longest time ever.
First time sleeping alone in my house.
First time doing something naughty while parents were away.. *grinning cheekily*
First time being a bridesmaid twice for best pals, Hidayah and Marliza.
First time going Karaoke in S'pore ever!
First time hanging out with the guys at the Cage and supper-ed till 3am..
First time being Head Coach for a football team!! Muahaha... more like sabo-ed into being Head Coach for the Income team.
First time meeting Nazri Nasir, Lim Thong Hai and Sundram!! Muahaha... I cant believe I was still in awe of the ex-Lions...
And first time had me heart broken... oh well.... which led to my...............................................
First time spending more than $1k on a bag!!! (without much coercion fr Azack.. hahaha)

2008 has been quite a trying year for me, in terms of work and personal life. Nonetheless, each year has its lesson to be learned. I hope every experiences that I went through has made me a wiser and better person, not only for myself but the pple ard me. Like they say, "What does not kill you, only makes you stronger!"

I think I will deifinitely miss this blog of mine, lotsa memories written over the years...
Hopefully, new memories would be made too...

Posted at 11:47 PM

Monday, December 15, 2008

If I Were A Boy..

What can I say.. I can never get enuff of this song....

I just love it!!

And she actually cried in this performance..... siiiggghhh...

Posted at 12:23 AM

Monday, November 10, 2008

Holding On...

Not looking forward to Wednesday...
Have no idea how I'm gonna handle it...
I am still not ready to part with my parents....

This will be my most vulnerable period...

I would say these 2 mths month had been abt wrong timings..
Things happened when I least expected it..
Things happening when I am least ready..

I have no idea how I'll be for this coming mth..
I dunno what awaits me..

I am trying my best to hold on..

I need a sense of normality...
Or at least.. Let me be numb....

Posted at 1:08 AM

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Cheap Thrills!

So this weekend proved to be a very exciting weekend for Singapore with the first ever F1's night race.. Sometimes, it seemed unreal that the it is all happening. Here I am watching tv in my silent neighbouhood while the other side of the city is roaring with FI cars' powerful engine.

And this was the first ever that I had followed the qualifying rounds right from the start. And I have a feeling that tmr too will be the first ever that I will finish watching the race... hehe...

Cos I've got a taste of how exhilarating it is.
 Just a teeny-weeny taste, not like i was one of the spectators... hee.. 

My initial plan of heading home straight to sleep suddenly took a 360degrees turn...

On Friday, after work, while walking towards SMU to get Idafi's rented car, we could actually hear the thunderous sound of the engine way from Hotel Rendevous. 
As we were approcahing Bras Basah, the roar of the engine got louder and louder, and so did the pounding of our hearts. Everyone just got so excited!

The boys were planning to go to Simpang Bedok for dinner and it was put on hold as we were devising a way to get to ECP just so that we could see SOMETHING!! 
Hahaha... we like going round in circles just so that we can get somewhere close to the tracks to get a glimpse of the cars. 
We actually drove along ECP towards Jurong, when entering ECP from Suntec, we wound down the window to hear the roar of the engine. We were screaming with excitement when we eventually managed to get a glimpse of one the cars from afar, but none of us could make out which team it belongs to. 
So... since we were supposed to get to Bedok, we decided to turn back by exiting at Keppel Bay and back into the ECP towards Changi Airport. But that did not happen cos the traffic on ECP towards Changi was just so bad. 
So we decided to just drive towards OMB and had to do a u-turn somewhere alongside the track. Once again the close roar of the engine got us excited. After the u-turn and some diversions, we some how ended up right where we started from, Bras Basah.

We were torn between filling up our hungry stomach or parking the car somewhere and walk ard to soak in the atmosphere.  I think our empty stomach roared louder, hence we ended up at Arab St to have a proper breakfast.

By then, I told Zal countless times that we shld go for next year's race. So exciting!! After our meal, we decided to head home via ECP. And once again, we wound down our window while entering ECP. I guess the cars were beside us cos it was soooo loud! We drove extra, extra, extra slow.... I started shouting 'Go Kimi!', Zal started to shout 'Go Massa!' while the Idafi and Sherman were just shouting.. That was funny!  
Our cheap thrills! More like free thrills, cos we didnt pay anything... hehe...
For a moment, all troubles seemed so far away with the sound of the engine so near... 

While watching the qualifying just now, Mummy actually commented that Ferrari cars looked really nice! Super red and super shining with the light reflections.. Even mummy was interested!

I know the race has yet to end, but I'm already looking forward to next year's cos I wanna buy the tix!!!! Didn't know the roaring of the engine could get me all excited!

Posted at 1:12 AM

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Month End Sucks!

And so here I am again.. 
Exhausted yet I am not able to sleep...

Siiiggghhh.... i think i am just too tired to try anymore...
Emotionally drained.....

Okie, I shall not dwell in sad thought... HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!


Had a small celebration yet a really noisy one for Idafi's birthday just now..
How can it not be noisy when you have the boys around...
We breakfast-ed together and present him with a small cake...
I did not know it was his bday till 4pm.. haiz... and that boy was sitting in front of me all day long...

Amidst all the laughters and jokes, I can help but feel a lil sad...
Zal and Sherman will be leaving us come month end...
Rainbow will definitely be so quiet...
There will be 2 lesser pple on the journey home...
2 lesser pple trying to coerced me into embarrassing myself by taking stupid pics in the train..
Idafi will no longer have a duet partner....
No more Sherman's red face when he laughed real hard or when we tried to matchmake him..
No more Zal's malaynised version of English songs or his own created lyrics...
and I think what I will miss the most is Zal's 'It's OK, Lina.'
I think it gets me going knowing it will be ok, eventually.....
Even though most of the time it seems like a joke, sometimes i think i know where it is directed at.. regardless if its work related or not... Thanx Zal!

These boys' eccentric antics are the only things that make my everyday in Rainbow sane....
Haizzzz..... so not looking forward to the end of the month...

Posted at 12:13 AM

Saturday, July 19, 2008



It has been a long while... hee hee...
I have just been too lazy, busy and tired to be online to blog abt my day.. 

Work has been crazy and busy as ever.. in fact, more busy now. We used to be able to "survive" with just 2 counters, but now, despite having 4 counters open, we are not able to manage with the sudden influx of agents..

Not to mention, August wld be a busy and crazy mth for me la.. I am so not looking forward to it!!

Sometimes,  I just get uninspired and unmotivated to go to work.. It is like no matter how hard u tried, it never seems to be enuff.. Trying to motivate your staff including yourself, proving your capabilities to your bosses, following up on cases, rectifying mistakes... Haiz.... Just to name a few... But i guess that is work.. Having to deal with all sorts of things in every directions..

Come to think of it, it is not only work.. Having to deal with all sorts of things in every direction is like life itself.. Like Forest Gump once said, 'Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get.' There is sweet chocolate, dark, bitter chocolate, chocolate with nuts(my fave), chocolate with raisins(my least fave) and all the chocolate that is of the same time(yg sewaktu dgn nye).

Anyways, I shall not dwell on it.. Shall concentrate on the positiveness of everything.. :)

Posted at 12:28 AM

Sunday, May 25, 2008

First Order....

So, what did I do today???

I baked SIX cakes today!!! Yay!!! My first ever order towards my long-term goal.. hee hee...

Even though it was just marble cake, I was really excited cos this is only the start of sthg which I have been planning for quite some time now.. I pray to God that it will materialise one day..

I was having a really lousy day at work last week and I REALLY felt like quitting there and then. It was just so tiring having to manage the different characters at work and at the same with the ever piling of works and those problematic cases/follow-ups. I really, really felt like quitting and just rot at home!

But came a phone call which brightened up my day. Hidayah called and asked if she could place an order for 5 marble cakes for her niece's Thanksgiving feast. My first ever customer!!! Yaaayyyy!!!! Amidst the craziness at work, we managed to discuss on our future plans. We need to go for baking classes!!! The thought of quitting and doing sthg which I have been wanting to do for so long was enuff to make we wanna slog it out at work till we manage to raise enuff capital. I really do hope it will happen........ Oh! The sixth cake is a Peach Cake, free gift! :)

Oh ya! Did I mentioned that I am on 5days medical leave? I FINALLY got my right wisdom tooth extracted!! Before that, it gave me hell for abt a week plus and when I couldnt take it anymore, I decided to visit the dentist. I went for teeth X-rays and they found both my bottom wisdom tooth were growing horizontally!! Yikes!! I was left with no choice but to extract it!!

During the day of extraction, I was so freaking nervous that I tot I cld have peed in my pants.. hehe.. But thank God, the dentist was really nice and managed to put me at ease. I have to say the extraction was not as bad as I tot it wld be BUUUUUUUTTTTTTT, the after effect is killing me!!! The first two days were pretty bad cos I could not eat properly and I gotta be careful for it not to bleed further. For someone who loves to eat, it is hard when you cant really eat and enjoy your food properly. It seriously irritated the hell out of me!!

Now...... I am counting down to the day when I will get my stitches off!! Yup!! I have stitches in my mouth!! Wanna know what colour?? It is BLACK!!! After three days, I still cant really open my mouth widely and eat using both sides of my mouth. Haiiizzz.................

Lastly... I am not sure why but I'm missing lotsa pple lately..... My grandpa....... my bestfriends....

I wish God give me enuff strength to visit his grave again.............

Posted at 12:55 AM

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Turning 25...

So... I am now officially quarter of a century old and it doesnt really suck.. :)

Frankly, I am not really bothered abt the digit 25 cos like they normally say. 'Age is just a digit.' Cos I know deep down inside I am still young at heart! Hee hee..... Even though the digit 25 does not bother me, the digits do carry some meaning and pressure behind it ..

Turning 25 meant I have to act and think more wisely and maturely..
Turning 25 meant I have to act more responsibly..
Turning 25 meant being pressured to comply to societal norms.. (like I care)

I cant promise not to try to sulk when I dun get my way with mummy..
I cant promise I can stop being corny (this is the only time I'm acknowledging it)
I cant promise I can stop being 'manja' (pampered).. not spoilt ok!

All I can say is that I am sucking it in, both the good and the bad.. I am just waiting for my life story to unravel itself and I hope it gets better with each day, mth and year..


Celebrated me birthday with mummy over lunch with me eating on my left side of the mouth (shall blog abt it another day). It later followed by movies with Zal, Kami and My Fiq( Coffee Prince?).. hee hee... Managed to convince them to watch Verses of Love and received 3 good reviews! So what is the moral of the story??


After the movie, we decided to dine at Fig & Olive @ Vivo City. I gotta say that the taste improved tremendously and the service was fast and prompt..

After dinner, we decided to head home and dropped Fiq first and Kami at Fiq's bus-stop.. It was then I received a blue paper bag and I was holding my breath till I was told it is just a paper bag.... oh perigi....

Headed home after Uncle's place and I was nonetheless curious as to what is in the infamous blue bag...
And what do you know..... it was tight, ruffled and difficult...
It was a ribboned blue box, snugly place in the deceiving brown box..
In it, placed a lovely bracelet (initially)...
Tried to put it on and got confused due to the loose-ness... (dear, just cos u're confused, dun need to get me confused too k)
It was later confirmed to be a necklace... hee hee hee.....

So what did I get for my birthday? A necklace pseudo-bracelet from dearie.. with nicely font-ed card.. Thanx dear.... :)

....................... I HEART IT!.......................

Posted at 11:47 PM

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Verses of Love

ayat-ayat cinta

Treated mummy, aunt and couz to the movies today to celebrate Mother's Day. I had other things in plan too but too bad, had some changes so only managed to treat them to the movie.

After much talked abt hype and reviews on the Indonesian movie, Ayat-Ayat Cinta (Verses of Love), I was looking forward to it when they published in the papers that Cathay will be showing it in S'pore. Since mummy wanna watch it too, I didnt waste anytime when it was released in S'pore. All I can say is that it is a BEAUTIFUL story in every aspect.

I think everyone, regardless of Muslim or Non-Muslim, shld catch it. It portrayed the beauty of Islam and the most importantly, the true Islam. I have to say that I did learn and come to realise a lot of things while watching the movie. The film displayed very well the essence of faith, sacrifice and sincerity in different aspect of human relationship; neighbours, friends, teachers, loved ones and God Almighty.

I feel that everything tied in well for the movie as it is able to deliver the message really well. It showed how when one has strong faith in in your loved ones in the name of God and is sincere in sacrificing in the name/path of God, everything will end up well. There will be test along the journey but it is a way of God talking and testing your faith. But as human, we tend to falter when tested and this movie showed how important it is to return to your faith and try to overcome each hurdle with patience.

Besides being a religious film, it is also a romance film. I absolutely love the idea how Islam sees love and marriage. You do not get married in the name of love only but you get married in the name of God too. You fall in love with the person cos Allah wills it to. I just love the idea that you fall in love or get married cos Allah has chosen the perfect soulmate for you. Its like you fell in love in the name of God and when the couple is tested but with deep faith in each other and most importantly God, it wld only strengthen the relationship. Sincerity too played a big part in the relationship, when you are not sincere, there are bound to be problem along the way. One line in the movie stuck to me, " Soulmates is Allah's secret," which is true. In fact, I believe Life itself is Allah's secret cos only He truly knows what lies in front of you.

Sighhhhh..... what can I say, I absolutely love the movie.... It may be a lil idealistic cos not many is blessed with strong faith like Fahri, but it at least gives us hope that if you truly believe and have faith in Him, everything will be alright no matter what everyday life problems you are facing. So pple, go watch the movie!!!!!

Posted at 12:48 AM

Saturday, May 03, 2008

The Square Root of 3.

Another weekend has come and it will definitely be gone soon...

Had a relaxing evening with Liza and Azack watching movie, eating and shopping... I thought I had succeeded in resisting any temptations to buy stuffs but I crumbled when we entered the last store of the day, Zara... Hmmm.. Gotta practice more self-restraint with insurance to pay in the coming month..

We managed to catch Harold&Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay and it was hilarious!!! Initially, I was pretty disgusted with the Cock-Me Sandwich and the bottomless party but it got better and more hilarious as the story developed. I have to say, the sequel is pretty good or even better than the first one.. It definitely beats watching Funny Games U.S hands down!

At the end of the movie, there was a poem recited by Kumar to his ex-gf which was funny and sweet at the same time...

The Square Root of 3.

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

Posted at 11:44 PM

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