Monday, January 17, 2005
Roller Coaster of Emotions....
Never felt so horrible for such a long time... really, really low and sad abt certain things. Things have not been going my way since Friday morning. I was up abt 10 mins early before my usual wake up time but i have no idea why i end up going to sch taking a cab, so missed like 15mins of the CF lecture which is really bad cos for CF if u miss a little, u will be lost. So i was lost for abt 15mins into the lecture!
I was looking forward to Friday cos i was finally going to meet my 2 bestfriends and were planning to have so much fun on that day. But i can never be more wrong! It did not go well the moment i made one bad call. It pretty much went downhill after that and i was so angry at myself! Things just did not go my way after making that stupid decision! So went to RELC to pay the exam fee and found out that there are a LOT of pple waiting for their numbers to be called, my queue no was 411 and they were still at 250! I was suppose to meet my friends at 3.30pm and it was already 3pm.
After paying the fee, the time was well over 3.30pm and it was 5pm! I felt so horrible cos i am making my friends wait for over an hour plus and it has not been a great day for me! Felt really horrible but still tried to keep my spirits up cos i was going to meet my friends and cld unload eveything and also the thought of meeting Taufik just perks me up a little bit. But no, no. None of that happen. Didnt manage to unload and keep everything bottled instead and missed Taufik by a mere 10mins and were too bum out to rush all the way to PS. At that point was already feeling so low amidst all the crowd, wanted to spill but dun think anyone was in the mood to hear. I know the reason why they are angry at me and how i wish they know how angry i am with myself and how unbearble it was at that time. Decided to head home and was feeling so horrible that tears were flowing on the journey home, the lady beside me must be thinking i am mad. But hey, I AM HAVING A VERY BAD DAY!
Saturday was an escape for me cos my family and i were going to Johore, balik kampung. For that moment, everything was fine. Eat and eat, watch sepaktakraw tournamant on Sunday morning before heading home. On the journey home, the feeling of sadness haunts me back but tried to push it away cos i was driving. Reached home at 5.30pm and my cousins were already making numerous calls asking where am i cos we have a soccer match to catch. To make matter worst, a headache was creeping in. My mum was kind enuff to offer cab fare and told me not to worry abt the chores and let her do it. Put down my stuffs, had a changed of clothing, swallowed 2 tablets of Panadol and ran down the stairs and flag a cab.
Reached the stadium at abt 6.20pm and half of the stadium was filled! It was a sight to behold, it was a sea of red!! Everyone was so pumped up to see S'pore win! The moment the match start, so did my trash talking. Dun worry, no foul languages escaped from my mouth but boy, did i trash talk! The guy sitting in front of me kept looking at me whenever i say sthg. Hello!! This a football match!!! Of course u have the urge to boo, jeered, cheered, scream foul whenever a S'pore player is on the ground. And boy, do i feel good shouting it all out!! It was such a memory to cherish! Watching the Lions lifting the trophy in front of the capacity home crowd was just so amazing! My cousins and i were screaming endlessly for Bhaikhaki, whenenver he got the ball we go, " Come on Kiki!".. that was crazy! I was so happy and proud to have witnessed it! It has been a long time since the stadium was fully covered with fans wearing red!I really hope that the Lions will maintain their standards or better still improve cos finally, they are doing sthg right to revive our faith in them.
Decided to go to sch late today cos i really needed the sleep, so went in during break. The moment i stepped into the sch my fine mood began to take a turn. 3 of my friends commented that i look stress and unhappy. Monday blues? Perhaps..... It cld be cos of the emotions i felt on Friday is getting the better of me..
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