Finally had a little breather.. been so busy with assignments and projects that i have been sleeping for only 3-4hrs for the past few days.. i wanna update my blog also cannot.. wanna watch the latest eps for OTH and Grey's Anatomy also dun have time..

Hmmm.. where shld i start eh.. Oklah, continue my story a bit about this Ali guy.. for those who dunno, he is my ex.. and my mum likes him a lot.. He turned up for the kenduri cos my my mum asked my couz to invite him.. he turned up after all the people went home, left only my family and my uncle's family... i kinda stress lah.. dunno what to say or do.. he came and i said nothing.. he had such a bonding period with my mum lah! my mum still remembers his fave drink...dunno what to say.. when he left, i only said thanx for coming and did not even try to establish any eye contact..
My cousins and close friends thought that i was very cruel and bad of me for not even talking to him.. cos he humbled himself and came, even if he came for my mum, he did come.. felt guilty that night..

And so, on tuesday.. for the 1st time in a veeerryyy llooonnnggg time, i let my pride down and smsed him.. i have a huge ego when it comes to guy, so that was pretty hard for me.. some smses were exhanged and a sudden feeling of relieved washed over me..
I think smsing was him the right thing i ever did for myself and for him... it suddenly dawned on me why i am always nervous if i am around him.. the reason is GUILT! I feel that i was a really a bad gf when i was with him and i think he was really hurt when i ended the relationship out of the blue.. and hurt him further after that by a single stupid sms.. im glad to see that he is doing good in life.. and in a way or so, i felt free and liberated cos i finally made my peace with him...

• Lynna
• Me, Myself and I
• Complex, Dreamer, Figure Me Out

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