Here comes another weekly update from me... dun think i did much for this week.... attended make-up class on tues and unfortunately my uncle's family decided to break fast at my house on the same day... on wednesday, had a servicing meeting and was treated to a KFC meal from our lady boss... thursday and friday passed in a blur....

Had another cleaning day today at home, when i am not fasting, i feel like doing everything all at once.. get it over and done with.. so i ended up mopping the house, cleaning up my comp desk and book shelves and tidying my vcds and cds....

At 5plus, sent Rosi off to airport with my couz... it was my first time driving to airport, so was pretty confused and jakun at the same time.. while we were at the airport, we saw lotsa SQ girls walking to and fro... my emirates dream..... sighhhh.... i know i wld do it for sure if i am alone and without family... i see no reason for me to stay in S'pore... cos everyone has their own lives to lead... but i have to say that i am pretty lucky to have my one and only uncle, eccentric he maybe but he is the only family member whom i have and can depend on... sometimes when things are bad, all u have got is family....

A lot of times, i asked myself what is my purpose in life... and a lot of time i did not find the answer... even though i have worked for 3 mths, i am still feeling unsettled... there have got to be more than this... there is this unsettled feeling of constantly searching for things... searching the meaning of life, searching for the one, searching for happiness, searching for contentment in life.. sighhhhh.... blame it on PMS-ing that i am feeling melancholic...

There is one thing which i have been wanting to do but i know my mum is against it.. i think i have to keep slowly working at it.. gotta start with Spore then i can start dreaming of doing it overseas.. i really do hope i can do it, if not in the near future, at least in 5-7years to come...

I dunno if i am being too idealistic or in a state of denial... i dun want my life to be centred ard quotas or trying hard to climb the working ladder or even trying to calm my nerves down when encountering rude commuters... i know i am a good listener but i am not here on earth to listen to customers making ridiculous demands and at the same time refusing the explaination offered... it would be absolute utopia if such pple were to vanish from the face of the earth... darn! i dun wanna be so jaded when i just started work... but these pple are makin it hard for me...

I wish i cld say that once work is over, i have something or someone to look forward to when i get home.... once i got home, the only solutitude that i am looking forward to is my sleep... i would consider it as an escape... sometimes i wondered to myself, what or who have i became? I used to be really crazy, loud and outgoing... but over the years, those qualities seems to have fizzled out..

For a start, i am focused on trying to be positive and if God wills it and gives me strength, i would love to grab life by its horn...

• Lynna
• Me, Myself and I
• Complex, Dreamer, Figure Me Out

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