Finally, got some time off from projects and test.. so went for a lil retail theraphy just now.. how i wish i am earning my full salary so i can shop a lot more!!! Went to Marina just now for some window-shopping and acc my fren to find a burfday gift.. then we decided to walk to Suntec's Novo cos the shoes selection there are more.. but too bad, i didnt manage to buy the sandal that i wanted due to unavailable of stocks for that size.. i ended up buying another pumps at URS Inc and a cropped jacket at Zara.. I wanna shop some more!! I wanna get the jeans and tops at Dorothy Perkins!! Too bad im earning a measly amount of $600 for these 3 months.. But i did feel better after some retail theraphy... the wonders of shopping!!

Chatted with a friend last night and we came to the topic of having ideals on how your partners should be.. i gave up on having a long list of ideals on what i want my partner to be like a looonngg time ago... over the years, i learnt that just because the guy looks like he is a nice guy, he may not necessarily be one and turns out to be a real jerk... and guys whom i thought possessed a certain characters proved me wrong by behaving otherwise.. cute guys whom i straight away labelled as a potential jerk, strangely enuff does not behave like one.. i learnt not to have too high of an expectations anymore.. not to have ideals which are too idealistic.. and never judge a book by its cover.. but that does not mean that i would settle for anything less than the minimum criteria i have set.. i know that nobody is perfect, including me..

Years and years of reading historical romance novel turned me into an idealist once.. used to daydream on how i would chance upon my future partner.. how he should act in a certain way.. how he would notice only me in the crowd... blah.. blahh.. and then we happily lived ever after... hahah.. how naive and delusional i was back then!! The world is not as rosy as i painted it and guys are not such a gallant knight i pictured them to be.. Its hard to erase all these images and ideals that are so deeply imbedded in your mind.. that why having a crush on someone whom u do not know all too well can be a dangerous thing if the feeling developed more than just a mere crush.. when u r crushin on that certain someone, you would picture him in the best of light possible.. you would picture him to be nice, sweet, thoughtful, fun and all... it is a dangerous thing to have an image on how a the person should be in your head.. u kept thinking that he is all the nicest thing in the world.. then u became in love with that image.. and not the person.. and that makes it hard to let go..

I have also learnt that when u have a certain ideals on how ur partner shld be like, it inhibits to other options.. u just centred ur mind on that set of ideals and when u meet someone new, u some sort of do a mental check list and started checking and crossing the criterias that they fulfil and dun... you are so blinded by those ideals that sometimes u dun even realise that the person closest to u or right in front of u are the ones who willingly accepts u and ur flaws.. u so blinded by those set of ideals that u dunno what what you have been missing.. even if it was at a get-to-know stage, u are so critical of the person.. it is definitely unfair to the person and also urself.. every little things that the person does has to fit to that set of ideals and one wrong move can means the end of the r/ship even before it begins.. it is sad to see or hear that a r/ship comes to an end just because the person does not fit those set of ideals.. how stupid can that be? Nobody is perfect! NOBODY!!

I have to admit though, sometimes i am guilty of those mental checks... i am only human if i only want the best.. but i am slowly letting it go and opening up my options.. maybe a small-eyed man is not so bad after all.. maybe a guy shorter than 1.8m is not that short afterall.. maybe a guy who doesnt read is not that dumb afterall.. maybe a guy without goatee can look good without one.. maybe a guy who doesnt understand my obsession with Beckham is fine afterall.. as long as he is obsessed with me... hahahaha....

• Lynna
• Me, Myself and I
• Complex, Dreamer, Figure Me Out

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