Had a consuming day today, 3 staffs on MC and 1 on leave, so u can just imagine what a 'war-zone' it was at Rainbow. N-actions and emails kept pouring in but luckily, the frequency of the advisers coming in were not often. Luckily after lunch, there were 2 new part-timers who came for attachment and were able to assist on clearing the n-actions. Tmr, I am predicting another 'war-zone' at Rainbow as there'll be staffs on leave as well as on MC.

Karen and I were like stuck to our PC while Hidayah were going back and forth from doing Naction and manning the counter. Guat Poh had to work despite coming with the intention of just submitting the MC, and we only came to know abt that after lunch.

We had a little chat after work and I dunno why but I got rather emotional abt it and started to tear up. Haizzz... I cant stop myself when I see another person cries. I may not experience depression but it is definitely a place which I hope I will never enter. I cant help but empathise and sympathise with the whole situation. The feeling of helpnessness, demoralisation and negativity should never overwhelm you till it paralyse you from living your live happily. I am thankful for the family I have and friends whom I surrounds myself with but yet it also serves as a reminder not to indulge myself in self-depravation which could lead to a dark and bleak place.

When she was trying so hard to express herself, I just cant stop myself from tearing up. I pray to God that she will be better. Once was already enough and to suffer a relapse, I could only imagine.

I think I am very tired... physically, mentally and emotionally... bleh.....
I wish I can express it all out....
Can I take a break from everything???

“I think that perhaps we always fall in love the very first time we see the man of our dreams, even though, at the time, reason may be telling otherwise, and we may fight against that instinct, hoping against hope that we won't win, until there comes a point when we allow ourselves to be vanquished by our feelings...”

Paulo Coelho

Mummy and Daddy went to Indonesia together with couz, aunts and uncles to do some merisik-ing on National Day. And that was the the first time Mummy went away the longest. Even though it was for 3 days, it was still the longest ever and I have never felt so domesticated in my life during her absence. I woke up early just to cook rice, reheat dishes, get coffee ready for grandpa and ensure my couz was not late for sch. For once, I felt like my mummy.

On the 10th, it was the first day at new Rainbow at Prinsep St. And since Rainbow has no male staff, most of the unpacking were done by Karen, Hidayah and I. Luckily the movers were kinda helpful even though they were a bit cheeky. We just have to entertain their 'small talk' in order for them to help us in shifting the heavy boxes. I dun like the packing and unpacking due to the dust and I am having breakout! I dun like!!!

On the 11th, it was my first time raising my voice to my superior cos I was really pissed with the comments they made. I am kinda sick with the perception that the colleagues in HQ have of Rainbow. They kept assuming that since we are only serving agents and brokers, we are having an easy life. If we are having such an easy life, we wld not be leaving office only after 8pm. No one offered any help in the shifting and as much as they told us to SOS them on scanning, I dun see any difference in our scanning backlog. It seriously doesnt make sense that they are already sending staff out to branches when renovation has yet to start. They expected us to help out with the manpower but in return, does anyone even care abt our problem? And dun even get me started on the comments made on Rainbow's 'decoration'. Hidayah and I were so pissed that we just decided to keep mum abt the comments made. And apparently, some changes will be made to Rainbow again, damn, I wld not be pushed ard again la!!

And to top my list of my many firsts, I got myself 12 demerits points!!! Isnt that great???!!! Haizzz.... I dunno what made me wanna speed ahead with the amber lights already flashed. One of my stupidest moment! And that flash of light was so clear that even my couz saw it too. I seriously felt like crying la! My first ever traffic offense!!!!

It is kinda rare for me to be up at this hour blogging but here I am! I just cant seem to go to sleep.. which is very rare, cos I am constantly sleepy..

After such a long time, I am back to watching OTH and as usual, I love it!! I just love Nathan and Haley, they are just so good for each other.

Just d/led an old and unknown song.. It is titled Disguise by Lene Marlin and these verses stuck to me..

Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have..

Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear

Maybe I am PMS-ing (PostMS) but I miss my bestfriends.......

So in love with this song right now... and not to mentioned Jared Leto... *melting*

Look at my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you..........

What can I say, I am currently hooked to 30 Seconds to Mars. The first time I saw them, I was rather skeptical cos Jared Leto used to be a teen hearthrob. I began to stereotyped him as this typical artiste who cant make it big as an actor, so jumped ship to making records. And what do you know, The Kill grew on me and I am hooked!!! Hooked to a point where I'll Youtube them whenever I'm online and cant help myself from thinking that Jared is hot.

These past few days has been really lonely, really lonely that I found myself staring blankly out the window daydreaming, wishing, dreaming, wishing, dreaming and wishing so hard...... so hard that things wld turn out differently. I wished so hard that it cld be saved. I wish that my Zen Neeon didnt die on me!!!! WHY? WHY? My trip to and from work is soooooo lonely, no music to entertain me.... Siiiggghhh.... All I have right now is my memory to lyrics and tunes in my head. The first few days, I had to play The Kill over and over again in my head and suddenly it switched to Big Girls Dun Cry....

Work have been ok just that we have been busy packing cos we will be shifting come next Fri. Exciting!! I just hope that not much advisers wld turn up.. hee... I cant wait for the new office cos its new and lil bigger.

Yday, got off work early for a Sweet Escape, away from work and the hustle and bustle of city life..... Siiighhh... Sometimes I wish we are not govern by so many rules, rules set by us, rules set by pple's opinion, rules set by our own inhibitions...

• Lynna
• Me, Myself and I
• Complex, Dreamer, Figure Me Out

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